I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I fill condoms, not promises.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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