Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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