Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize