Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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