I could have mohawked her pubes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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