the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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