I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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