I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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