The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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