Your dad touched me again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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