My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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