I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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