My cat gives me a boner
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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