I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize