yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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