i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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