Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize