god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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