Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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