dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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