I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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