What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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