so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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