you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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