Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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