i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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