I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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