I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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