After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize