We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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