Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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