Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
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Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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