i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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