He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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