he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize