PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So here I am, sexting at work.
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