Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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