i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
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You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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