The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize