i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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