He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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