he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize