You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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