Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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