I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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