New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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