what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
operation have a gay friend backfired
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize