no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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