Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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