sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
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I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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