About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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